Natalie hates vacuuming. But sometimes she does it anyway. This story only made her hate vacuuming even more.

Because Natalie hates the vacuuming, she does it under a mental state of heightened anxiety to get the mission accomplished as quickly as possible. So it was one day, she embarked on a mission to vacuum the “back-end” of the house, once the dust balls had accumulated to an intolerable level. It started innocently enough, as well as it could under the circumstances, but the tension was rising by the time she reached the toilet room.

The room was surprisingly long, for architectural reasons unknown, and the pivotal moment came when the vacuum cleaner lodged itself against the door frame. Natalie first tried a gentle tug on the hose, to no avail. Entering a huff, Nat resorted to more violent tugs on the hose, which eventually succeeded in dislodging the machine sufficiently to pull it through the doorway.

With all her focus on the evil machine, Natalie heaved it farther into the room, like a mule on a leash. But with her focus on the machine, unbeknownst to her, a drama was about to unfold in the other direction. This isn’t a widely recognised rule, but it should be: when vacuuming the toilet room, always close the lid of the toilet. As Natalie heaved on the wayward vacuum, she was lowering the nozzle right into the toilet—a perfect bullseye. The nozzle made contact with the water surface, and the machine began drinking in the sweet waters with a sickening slurping sound. The air pump was now a water pump. The vacuum cleaner began making... peculiar sounds. Natalie shrieked and retracted the hose, and leaped for the power switch. The bubbling sound gently subsided to silence.

She called me with the simple question: “Is it bad for a vacuum cleaner to suck up water?” I gradually prised this amazing story out of her. Better take it to the vacuum repair shop, to get it checked out, I thought. Natalie did so; the repair man checked it over, and declared that “luckily it seems to be fine”.

Then he inquired as to how the water had got into the machine. Natalie had been dreading having to answer this question. “It ah... sucked it up.”

I’m sorry to say, the repair man seemed satisfied with this explanation and inquired no further.